oh yes.

and an update on that party i had to go to for my uncle. ahaha, funny story. i stayed for about an hour, and upon arrival was scared out of my mind when i was engulfed by all of these strangers from their church. and of course i was wearing all black, and they consequently looked down their noses at me like i was nephilim or Satan or something...

all of the "salads" that they had were soaked through with trans fats and cholesterol, because i could not find anything that was void of some type of pork product. what is so "salad" about a pile of meat and sauce on a leaf? no idea. but i digress. so then i just decided i would get a beverage. and that was also a challenge because all they had was soda. and i don't drink soda. so i had some tea, after being called difficult by my adoring cousin. and being harassed by church goers who were ironically enough blowing their beer breath in my face the whole hour and something i was there. apparently, it is a sin to be vegan because you "must try everything at least once." and of course, there was 4 different kinds of pasta salad, but all of them had these vital ingredients. egg mayonnaise and swine. lemon lemon lemon.

while i was waiting for my friend Elaina to call so that i had an excuse to leave, everyone else was waiting on the chicken. mind you, there were at lest 25 people there. or more. but when the chicken was brought to the table, i felt like i was watching a sacrifice to the heathen gods take place. there were so many carcasses, i thought they had staged a heist at the Purdue plant. like an entire walmart had been robbed of its poultry. i kid you not, it was insane. there must have been 2 pigs and 40 chickens murdered for their carnivorous feast. it was awful, and the smell was nauseating. and all i could eat the whole time i was there was bread and strawberries. i kid you not. and i was accosted the whole time.

reasons why i dont go to church #539: the people judge my lifestyle while they get drunk at a party and murder helpless animals in a wasteful manner.

no sir.