Hallowed Hollowed Hearts.

it is time to shake off the parasites. i feel a change in the wind, and it is mangling my hair. but i think i like the attention, and yeah, maybe it is somewhat undesired. but that is what life is all about.

i realize you probably don't even know what i am saying to you at this point, but that's okay. i like a little mystery so lets go with it. i have been feeling different lately. its not a bad feeling, no, and when i was dusting off my books the other day i remembered what i was going through this time last year. and i will admit that a slight sigh escaped my lips, and maybe i will submit to the fact that it held a twinge of guilt, but not enough to burn your violets to a cinder, okay? i was adjusting my mirrors, and i finally scraped some of the sentiment off of my walls. and i feel...renewed. and i will admit that it was a small step for mankind, but i thought it was a big leap for me. i have been feeling a lot like a shot in the dark for a while. but now i am beginning to understand that i am worth the while, i am worth remembering. and that is something worth raising a glass to.

what exactly is in that glass you wonder? it better be ginger ale, because it has almost been a year since i...well, since i decided that wasn't me anymore.

i cleaned my bedroom out. i am tired of shoving the dirt under the bed, and burying the bodies in the closet. the blood was staining the carpet. the walls were getting bent with the hidden weights. it might have been just a spring cleaning, but it felt much more symbolic than that. i woke up from that year long dust bowl that was raging in my soul underground.

.....i think i finally let go of the last piece of her that was holding me back.

i think i finally found....what was left of me, what was waiting for so long. no more excuses.